GUEST POST: Jackson on “Why I Hate Vacations”

While the parents are away, the cat will play ... and knock over their furniture.

While the parents are away, the cat will play … and knock over their furniture.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The following is a guest post from the furball of the family, Jackson. Caitlyn and Kristofer do not necessarily share or condone the views of this hyperactive, sometimes cracked-out feline.

I hate vacations. Mommy and daddy ditch me for some exotic locale like Ohio or Detroit and leave me to play with only 20 of my favorite toys. I mean, what’s a fine, young feline like myself to do?

I suppose it’s better than them sticking me in a kennel for a week. They usually let some short human next door come over to clean my litter box and run around with me a couple times each day. It’s a good way to get some exercise and socialization … and I hate using a dirty bathroom, don’t you?

They pay her some small stipend in something called dollars. I don’t know if those are like Greenies because they’re both green but, if they are, she’s getting a pretty sweet deal and I hope someone pays me to watch another cat for several days.

Exercise is nice ... but not when you expect me to walk ON A LEASH.

Exercise is nice … but not when you expect me to walk ON A LEASH.

Of course, when they disappear for only a night or two, I’m pretty much on my own. I let them know how I feel by tearing up their paper towel by the kitchen sink or knocking over jewelry on top of the dresser. There are perks, though. They usually leave me with two-and-a-half days’ worth of food if they’re gone for just two days so, naturally, I eat it all the first hour after they leave and hibernate the rest of the weekend. But I can’t stay mad at them, so I give them plenty of attention when they get home so that they can’t do anything else the rest of the night.

Occasionally, I get put in some small container when we only travel a few hours. It’s cozy, especially when I have my MSU blanket, but the constant vibrations of the car zooming down the road makes me a little cranky after a while and I need to stretch my legs … but mommy and daddy won’t let me out of the car to stretch my legs, so I hide from them under the seats. I love playtime!

I guess vacations aren’t that bad after all. Maybe I should start asking for a mountain of food each time they go?

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