Guest Post: Bailey in “A Dog’s Vacation”

Strike a pose. It's my time to shine, baby.

Strike a pose. It’s my time to shine, baby.

Editor’s note: After months of begging, Bailey FINALLY gets to write her first blog post. Brace yourself: Bailey keeps things real.

I can’t believe Daddy waited almost a whole year before letting me write a blog post. I mean, kitty, or as I like to call him, “Dessert,” got to write one after only being with the family for a few months. What gives?

Anyway, I was told to write something about what it’s like when my owners ditch me whenever they go out of town to do whatever (probably look at other kitties, I’m guessing). Usually, they put me up at this place called a “doggy daycare.” I’m not sure what that means, but I know I should tug as hard as possible at the leash whenever we’re approaching the front door.

Inside, it’s sensory overload: The sweet aroma of a dozen dogs, tails wagging in every direction and welcoming barks. Of course, the best part is getting the opportunity to try and shove smaller dogs’ heads into my mouth, like Boston Terriers, French Bulldogs and Chihuahuas. The smaller, the tastier, I like to say …

Get. In. My. MOUTH!

Get. In. My. MOUTH!

Usually, I’m a little shy when I first enter the room. I mean, wouldn’t you be if you were shacking up with a dozen strangers for the night or week in the same room? Usually I run away from the pack and tuck my tail between my hind legs so nobody can sneak up from behind to say “hello,” but one of those mangy small dogs eventually slinks in and ambushes me.

Once in a while, it’s a little too much, and I jump up onto a table and curl up into a ball to sleep the day away. Vacations are about R&R, right? And afterwards, I’m exhausted for a day or two, depending on how long I’ve been at daycare. Mommy and Daddy seem to find great joy in this, but I’m pretty sure they’re sad deep down and would rather play the “Keep Bailey from eating dog poop on walks” game.

I bet the kitty misses me too while I’m gone. With nobody around to chase him, kitty must get bored. I do miss his gentle nips on my ears in the evening when we’re both sleepy.

That’s a dog’s life when she’s on vacation. Now where’s a Chihuahua when you need it?

 

Move over, toots, I need the Mac.

Move over, toots, I need the Mac.

Rebuttal: Jackson

Whenever the dog is gone, it’s like the good old P.B. days (“Pre-Bailey” for the unfamiliar).

I can lie around wherever I want without fear that I’ll open my eyes and be looking into the eyes and mouth of Cujo. And those “gentle nips” on the ears are me trying to bite the dog as hard as I can to get her to calm the Hell down. Sometimes it works.

It's bite or be bitten with the dog.

It’s bite or be bitten with the dog.

My favorite is when Mommy and the guy who cleans my litter box are gone for only a night or two. They’ll leave me with a overflowing bowl of food that I can eat entirely in 10 minutes. I assume the bowl will automatically refill itself in time for dinner.

Mommy and the guy who cleans my litter box should vacation more.

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